she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
