I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My dick has a subreddit
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize