Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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