C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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