then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
