i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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