By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
