their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
