I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
