I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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