there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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