Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
