Who did Billy Mays play for?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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