I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
