gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize