There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
