he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize