omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
