now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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