that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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