i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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