You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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