i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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