we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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