Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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