And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
