i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
