He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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