how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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