i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
