My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
