ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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