so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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