All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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