We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
time to smoke my breakfast
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
