i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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