careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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