how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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