two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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