you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
