If that was your dad, he is hot
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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