Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
