So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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