Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize