i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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