just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
