If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
