I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
