that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Couch. On fire.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
