it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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