He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
