By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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