"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
