Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
