I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My cat gives me a boner
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
