Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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