I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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