smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
